Times are tough and tricky. There is more dislike fuelled by conflict of ideas than pathology. Pathology of dislike? Like having a strong, uncontrollable blanket hate/ dislike or antipathy towards a certain people or person coloured by years of grounding or feeding of bytes of hate. We do wonder why Israel and Palestine can’t settle down instead of settling scores all the time. Same for us and our saga of the Radcliffe line… But which line divides you and me or the person next door?
We have become small islands of self importance. I will dislike connecting with you if you always disagree with my ideas and thoughts individually or on social platforms. I will start by disliking you if life seems more “favouring” to you! Everyone who has gained the know-how of self sustenance also has radical likes and dislikes, no denying that! It is so difficult nowadays to connect on commonplace and ordinary ( read mundane) grounds like food, music, books or even for old times sake (like the craze these days for reunions on the www), coz the big ideas come to play between individuals, and you don’t strike a balance unless one tows the line at some front.
So when it comes to avoiding a conflict in the name of region, religion, caste, creed, ideology culture and food… simple methods never fail me:
1. Speak for yourself alone, without garnering support, without throwing illustrious examples.
2. Feign ignorance of the situation and allow the other person to spill out all vitriol, let him or her calm down and finally leave them alone.It works the best with people who are in love with their own voices and opinions and you are a resigned receiver.
3. Never drive a conversation towards the taboo topics enumerated above. If still driving as the topics excite you, keep a tear jerking story at hand to keep the mouths shut till your magnum opus reaches its tiresome end and the listener is out of steam to contradict or conflict.
4. Many have a bad habit of employing others in the vicinity to team up in the conflict…in such a situation, if you are on the opposite side of the table, best thing is to start paying heed to the supporting actors of the opposition n almost agreeing with them with hums and grunts, giving a real identity crisis to the instigator of the trouble…
5. And if the dislike is personal ( an outcome of any conduct in the past or a certain behavioural trait), and conflicts arise due to this element, AVOID altogether till ready for thrashing it out or settling for it.
All of the above… is what elders say.
6 But,… when all else fails, be a ninja… Be a mercenary, muster up a covert attack and defeat the opposition😎